Oh good, another colonoscopy

I was in the hospital for about a week with bad colitis, and it was rough. Lots of blood, diarrhea, and a roommate who was shitting in a bucket next to me the entire time. So I guess we were both having a great time when it comes to digestion.

The doctor doesn’t know if this was caused by an infection, ulcerative colitis, or Crohn’s disease. The stool culture came back negative so infectious colitis is less likely. This is not terrific news, as I already carry a collection of chronic illnesses and I’m not eager to throw another one into my tote. However, there is but(t) one tiny silver lining to come out of this debacle: another colonoscopy-prep blog post!

My doctor has deemed my intestines too ravaged to handle the demonic Suprep, so she prescribed GaviLyte, a prep that is allegedly “slightly easier” than Suprep (yea. we’ll see). It comes in a GIANT JUG you’re supposed to fill to the top with water, that no human could possibly consume, and includes a flavor packet (lemon). I am genuinely looking forward to blogging about this experience in real time, because shitting fire out of my ass makes me laugh a lot, and I’m very curious what this lemon packet tastes like.

If nothing else, from this experience I’ll have the opportunity to compare this experience with that of Suprep. I assume if it’s anything short of swallowing a rope and yanking it through, it will be an improvement.

The colonoscopy is on November 16th, so I’ll blog about this late the evening before, on the 15th and/or early on the 16th, depending on how much I’m able to leave the toilet. HOW FUN FOR ALL OF US!