I spent the last several years sick and not knowing what was wrong with me. Doctors didn’t know what was wrong with me and often didn’t believe me. It broke my heart, tore me down, depressed me. I spent most of my time at home in pain. I knew I had occipital neuralgia and chronic migraines, but beyond that, I also had IBS, the rest of my body hurt, I was exhausted all the time, moody… I never knew the underlying reasons why all these things were happening. Most of the time I thought they were unrelated and I was targeted by the universe. I felt like my life was stalled in some ways, because I couldn’t go into work (had to work almost exclusively from home due to the variety of headaches), couldn’t make plans with family and friends… it was not good.
Finally I started walking long distances, thinking that if I got in better shape it would help me. This really helped bring the underlying health problems to a head, ironically! In the summer of 2015 I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, which explained why everything hurt me all the time (to put it mildly), and why I’m so damned sensitive, why I’m so tired, etc. But much more importantly for me given some of my other symptoms (that is not to diminish fibromyalgia, it is just that my case is less severe than others), in October 2015, I was diagnosed with rhematoid arthritis–it is a disease wherein your immune system attacks your body’s soft tissues (primarily, but not exclusively, those around your joints). This diagnosis along with fibro explained a LOT about the past few years of my life. I started getting treatment, and even those part of the treatment was quite literally taking chemotherapy drugs, I began to feel a LOT better.
I’m on a journey of “self discovery” ew ew ew blah blah blah, but seriously, now I’m learning how to enjoy life for the first time in years. I’m figuring myself out. Here’s what I’ve learned about myself so far:
- I love photography
- I love food
- I need to lose a pile of weight (get it off my frame, good for my aching joints; so far I’ve lost about 45 pounds! wheee I’m skinny now, but not too skinny, I promise I have HUGE boobies)
- I love NYC (good thing… I live here)
- Rheumatoid arthritis is a real pain in the everything
- Fibromyalgia sucks and I don’t know how people who have it worse than me deal with it, because it’s almost impossible to explain and there are doctors who are behind enough in the times to not yet “believe” it exists (are you kidding me???)
- I’m not a victim; I have a lot of power over my own environment
Here’s stuff I already knew about myself:
- I love my family
- I love my friends
- I love my amazing boyfriend
- Music makes the world go ’round
- I like hats
Images (taken personally) and text copyright © 2016 me–All rights reserved. No commercial reproduction, adaptation, distribution, or transmission of any part or parts of this website or any information contained therein by any means whatsoever is permitted without prior written permission. Please send me a message to ask, thank you!